Who Makes The Announcement?
Engagement announcements are usually put in the paper by the bride's parents or immediate family to announce their happiness to the community. Some older couples put their announcement in the paper themselves. And, some couples choose to announce their engagement in a more private and personal way - such as by word-of-mouth or an engagement party.
When Do They Appear In The Paper?
Engagement announcements usually appear in the newspaper of the bride's hometown two to three months before the wedding date. However, they may appear up to a year before or even a few days before. Circumstances and personal preference prevail here.
The bride's family should ask the groom's family if they would like to have an engagement announcement appear in their local paper also. It is the bride's parents (or the bride's) responsibility to send the same announcement to the groom's parents' newspaper of choice.
When NOT TO Make An Announcement
According to Emily Post's Book on wedding Etiquette, "the only time a public announcement is not in good taste is when there has recently been a death in either family, or if a member of the immediate family is desperately ill." Ms. Post also stresses that no engagement announcement should ever be made if someone is still legally married.
Announcement Formats
Many newspapers will have a certain format for these types of announcements, however, some require that you write your own. The standard format is to say something like:
- "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith of Anytown, Anystate, announce the engagement of their daughter, Miss Mary Smith, to Mr. John Doe, Jr., son of Mr. & Mrs. John Doe, Sr. of Anothertown, Anystate. A July wedding is planned."
The following paragraph usually states first where the bride went to college and where she currently works and then states the same for the groom.
Special Cases
Of course there are many special cases where the wording may be different - one or more deceased parents, divorced parents, the bride is adopted, etc. Common sense tells us to use good taste and discretion in these types of situations.
Deceased Parent of Bride
For example, in the case of a deceased parent, the parent who is still living makes the announcement and mentions the deceased in the next sentence:
- "Miss Smith is also the daughter of the late Betsy Smith."
Deceased Parent of Groom
Or if one of the groom's parents are deceased:
- "...son of Mrs. John Doe and the late Mr. Doe..."
Divorced Parents of Bride
For divorced parents, something similar is appropriate. If the parents are friends they may just announce together:
- "Mr. John Smith of Atlanta, Georgia and Mrs. Alex Shaw of Athens, Georgia, announce the engagement of their daughter..."
Bride's Parent Remarried
In case one of the parents who is remarried is really giving the wedding and making the announcement, the other parent should be mentioned in the second sentence:
- "Miss Smith is also the daughter of..."
Bride or Groom is Adopted
In the case of adoption, the fact that the bride or groom is adopted does not need to be mentioned.
An Orphan
The announcement of an orphan's engagement should be handled by her closest relative, godparent or close friend. The basic wording in this situation would be:
- "The engagement of Miss... (daughter of the late...) is announced, to Mr...."
Bride is Widow or Divorcee
And, if the bride is a widow or divorcee, the wording is basically the same as the traditional wording except the bride's current married name is used instead of her maiden name.
Groom's Parents Make Announcement
If for some reason the groom's parents make the announcement, they should still say:
- "The engagement of Miss..., daughter of Mr. and Mrs...., to Mr...., son of Mr. and Mrs..., is announced."
Works cited:
Post, Elizabeth L. Emily Post's Complete Book of Wedding Etiquette (Revised Edition). New York: Harper Collins Publisher, 1991.
