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The Maid/Matron of Honor
By Lei Lydle, Founder and Editor
Last Updated: 5/16/2009 1:23:47 PM
Who is the Maid or Matron of Honor?
The Maid of Honor is usually the bride's closest sister. Otherwise, she could be the bride's cousin or best friend. Sometimes the bride's sister or best friend will be married and thus would be called the Matron of Honor instead of the Maid.
One thing is for sure, the bride's mother should not be the Matron of Honor. The bride's mother is the hostess and should not be in the wedding party.
Having Both a Maid and Matron of Honor
Sometimes the bride will decide to have both a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor. In this case, the "Maid" stands closest to the bride, holding her bouquet and serving as the witness.
You may or may not choose to have an extra groomsmen for the Matron of Honor because her husband will join her during the reception. She and the Maid of Honor could both walk in the recessional with the Best Man.
Responsibilities
The Maid and/or Matron of Honor should do all of the following:
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help the bride address invitations |
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plan the bachelorette party |
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help the bride record gifts at the bridal shower(s) |
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help plan bridal shower(s) |
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help the bride dress for the wedding |
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pay for her own wedding attire |
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help the bride arrange her train and veil at the ceremony |
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hold the groom's ring during the ceremony |
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sign the wedding certificate as a witness |
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stand in the receiving line |
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bustle the bride's train |
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help the bride change clothes after the reception |
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take care of the wedding gown after the wedding (usually taking it to a professional cleaner) |
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help with any additional wedding tasks |
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| 10 Comments | Submit Comments... |
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Jennifer from IL says... Why is picking the maid/matron of honor the hardest part?!? I can't decide on a best friend or my sister. Has anyone been in this spot before and had a good outcome? Wedding Date: December 1, 2012 Posted: 9/20/2011 10:55:49 PM |
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kbh from Dmas, md says... I couldn't make anyone happy with my selection and I wanted to make everyone happy so now to make me happy I think I am going to have 2 matrons, 1 maid of honour and 2 bridesmaids...am I going overboard with this? Wedding Date: June 19th Posted: 5/13/2009 8:47:37 PM |
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DC from Pawleys Island SC says... Phooey on this advice! Your maid/matron of honor can be ANYONE you choose! This is 2009! Wedding Date: May 23, 2009 Posted: 5/11/2009 1:55:23 PM |
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Heather from says... Well, it seems so many have a quandry about the person who should have the role of Maid / Matron of Honor. As for me,I made a decision TOO QUICKLY and now I am regretting it. The woman I chose totally blew me off for when we were going to meet the first time over coffee to discuss all the details and set up times to go shopping. Now I want to have someone else take the position of MOH and I have to tell the first woman that she is "fired" from that position. Don't you think it is plain rude to not even call the bride to change plans??? ugh! Wedding Date: May 8, 2010 Posted: 4/26/2009 11:41:22 PM |
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MOH from US says... A true friend will suck it up and not gripe if she is not chosen as your MOH. If she's more concerned about her own feelings than making things easier for you as you plan your special day, then she probably isn't the best choice to be your MOH anyway. Wedding Date: 9-4-10 Posted: 4/26/2009 11:01:18 PM |
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EM from NJ says... I have the same issue, so many friends I would want to make my maid of honor....how do you choose??? My wedding is going to be small, so I don't want a huge bridal party....any advice to post to me on how I can pick a MOH and not hurt anyone's feelings?? Wedding Date: Not Planned Yet Posted: 3/24/2009 5:49:05 PM |
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Shanon from Maine says... I have two sisters, and two very close friends. I chose not to have a maid of honor, and I told all of them this. I just could not choose, and I did not want anyone's feelings getting hurt. They were all very understanding. You can split up the tasks of the maid of honor between all the girls, and hopefully this will work for you. Good luck!!! Wedding Date: 07/09/2005 Posted: 12/29/2008 8:52:29 AM |
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tamika jones from newport news, va says... I have a sister and a best friend. I have choose my best friend of 15yrs to be my maid of honor instead of my sister. My sister and i are 13yrs years apart and not as close as me and my best friend. My sister is upset that she is not the maid of honor and refuse to take a bridesmaid title. What should I do?? Wedding Date: 5/23/2009 Posted: 10/1/2008 9:50:15 AM |
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Kina from Long Beach, California says... I also am having this problem...I have a two best friends, One I've been knowing for over ten years and one for about three years...the one I've been knowing for three years is paying for my bridal shower and strippers, so I automatically picked her for my maid of honor..the one for ten years lives about and hour away and kind of made herself the maid of honor..she's has not really commited herself to my wedding as far as helping out...I want to tell her that i already have a maid of honor, but i know this will cause problems...but now that i know the matron of honor is the one that is married..I feel better, they now have their own position in my wedding..So if one is married make her your matron of honor and the one that is not would be your maid of honor!!! Wedding Date: January 17, 09 Posted: 9/27/2008 2:39:23 AM |
 
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tamda says... i am originally from nj and now live in nc. i have 2 best friends in nj who are in the wedding and 2 in nc that are also in the wedding. how do i chose me maid and matron of honor. i feel like i will hurt their feelings because they automatically think they know their position. HELP HELP HELP Posted: 9/14/2008 |