Lei's Wedding Blog
What Aspect Of Your Wedding Is The Most Important To You?
Every couple has different priorities when it comes to their wedding. For some, it is important to have a large wedding while others want something more intimate. Others don't care what size wedding they have as long as it is a fun party for their guests. Some will do whatever it takes to have the wedding of their dreams, including going into credit card debt and entering reality television contests.
The perfect location is alway, always, always at the top of every bride's list following the engagement. But, once the perfect location is chosen and booked, the bride usually focuses on some other aspect of the event.
Reception or Ceremony?
I have found a large majority of brides spend a lot more money on the reception than the ceremony. This makes sense because of the catering but it almost seems backwards since the ceremony is why you are there in the first place.
Regardless of the expense, it seems as much thought goes into the planning of the ceremony as the planning of the reception. The attendants, the officiant, the ceremony decor, the ceremony music, the seating arrangements, the program and the vows all rank as high with a lot of brides as the reception seating, itinerary, and entertainment.
The Gown and Beauty Above All?
Three brides that I know personally were much more concerned with their own personal appearance than anything else. All bought very expensive designer gowns and went through months of pampering and fitness training to look their very best on their big day. Because these brides focused so much of their budget on themselves, they had to cut corners elsewhere...
For two of the brides, the music just wasn't important. One chose a small jazz band to play background music during the reception. With the exception of the first dance and the father-daughter dance, there was no dancing at that wedding. The second bride wanted to have dancing but said she didn't need a DJ or a band - she literally had the best man bring out a boombox and play CDs. As you might expect there were quite a few problems with the music that evening.
The third bride was so concerned about being the most beautiful female at the wedding that she didn't have ANY bridesmaids. She didn't even have a Maid of Honor. She was the only woman standing at the front of the church that day and she did look stunning.
Color Scheme and Decor?
Another bride I know felt that the color scheme was the most important aspect of her wedding. Everything had to match perfectly and she went to great lengths and expense to make that happen.
As far as flowers go, every bride wants a beautiful bouquet and most will pay to have the bouquet they want. But the other bouquets and floral decor may be less important. Some brides go for a lot of floral and greenery to create the feel of a garden atmosphere while others skimp on the decor.
What about the cake? I worked with one bride a few years ago that wanted the most magnificent cake. It was to be a focal point in the reception hall. She spent a lot more time, energy and money on finding just the right cake than on any other single aspect of the reception.
One of my very best friends from childhood was extremely concerned with etiquette and made certain that she followed all of Emily Post's rules. That was a few years ago and it seems things have changed. Results of a survey we conducted last year indicate that the majority of brides who answered the survey (41%) could care less about etiquette if it doesn't fit into their idea of how their wedding should be.
When it comes to music and entertainment, I have found that brides are all over the board. Some want a DJ that can play all kinds of music while others want a fun band for that big party atmosphere. Other just want a jazz band, pianist, guitarist or other smaller band to just provide some background music and ambience.
Photos and Videos?
And what about preserving the memories? I know one bride who focused more on the keepsakes than she did the actual wedding. She spent nearly $10,000 on the photography and the wedding video so that she could relive the day over and over. Her album was beautiful and her video was like a long feature film. We watched it once - all five hours of it. It was spectacular but I have to wonder how many times she has watched it since then... This bride also had her wedding bouquet professionally preserved, matted and framed along with the wedding invitation, her garter, her husband's boutonniere and her veil.
One bride I worked with was extremely concerned about her guests. She went to great lengths to plan the weekend full of activities and fun things to do for her guests. She had the most elaborate gift baskets awaiting them at their hotels, provided luxury transportation from the hotels to the ceremony and reception, and gave them all personalized gifts as favors.
For me, the parties were important. We had a lot of people traveling from other cities and states and we had a lot of guests in their 20's. We really wanted everything to be "fun" so that our guests would be glad they spent the money to travel to Atlanta for the weekend.
What about you? What is most the most important aspect of your wedding?
Please share below.
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Pamela Robin from CA says...
Hi – I think an important part of a wedding is the planning. It also takes up a lot of time and is can be really frustrating. Does anyone have any suggestions for wedding planners?
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:12:49 AM
CR from Florida says...
This is IMPORTANT!! Please pay attention!! The thing that matters the most is that you make sure that you are marrying the the MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT of the wedding, if that person is not the most important thing about your wedding, then WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR MONEY???
Wedding Date: 10*07
Posted: 10/24/2006 9:16:39 PM
MB from South Florida says...
I am more interested in what the most important thing was after the reception... Like if they had to do it all over again, would they have lengthened the open bar, spent more on entertainment, bought more lavish centerpieces. What was the most important aspect of the wedding and the reception after the fact? Could you have gotten your guest to stay longer how? How? I think these questions are important for those planning for the first time and would like some advice from the bride who just went thru everything.
Posted: 4/2/2005 8:23:14 AM
Bev from Roanoke, VA says...
The most important aspect to me is the fact that I'm marrying the man of my dreams! The rest is just "sparkle and glitter".
Wedding Date: 070205
Posted: 1/6/2005 12:55:50 PM
EJ from Billings says...
Well for me the dress is the most important thing,i bought two dresses and brought both of them back becaus I just wanted it to be perfect i found a great dress but i still wish i coud have maybe gotten a better one.
Wedding Date: feburary 25.
Posted: 10/18/2004 8:55:12 PM
C.O> from Chicago, IL says...
Music!! Music at the reception is most important to us. I have been to too many weddings where they focused on everything else and the music was mediocre. We want people out on the dance floor all night. I wanted a pretty dress too and I managed to get my second choice dress for 80% off so I have more money for the music!!
Wedding Date: 4/23/2005
Posted: 10/18/2004 1:24:14 PM
Laniese from Lithonia, GA says...
I feel that my appearance is the most important because my wedding day is when all eyes will be on me and my husband, so I must look my best. My New Year's resolution this past year was to lose 20 pounds by my wedding and I have lost 15 already. A good photographer and the guests being taken care of are also important. Photos and video are are that I will have to remember the day, except for my memory of course.
Wedding Date: 05/15/2004
M.H. from Raleigh, NC says...
The guest list has become an enormous part of our wedding and we have only been engaged for a few months. We have been trying to come up with a "must invite" list and one or two levels of maybes before we book our location. Both of our parents are going overboard with the guests and it is getting out of hand. But at this point, 3 months into it, the guest list had proved to be the most important aspect of the wedding for everyone involved. guest list suggestions would be greatly appreciated :-)