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Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is not as easy at it has been in the past. In the past, it has always been assumed that the father of the bride is to be the one. These days, between family tensions, having divorced parents and just wanting to be independent has changed this tradition. Some brides still choose the traditional route with a twist. Here are 8 ideas from brides and brides-to-be who have considered this:
1. Some brides choose to have their father walk them down the aisle only halfway and then walk the other half by themselves. This symbolizes the bride's transfer from dependence to independence and that she has a new life of her own. This is pretty safe since it still involves the father of the bride.
2. Some have their mother and father both walk them down the aisle. For some brides, this is a way to include her mother in the process while still holding on to tradition. While this may be also seen as an attempt to go against a "male dominated society", it still should be accepted by most if you are worried about it.
3. Another thing that is becoming more popular is the groom meeting the bride halfway. It's not only cute, it symbolizes the strong union between them. Again, it may seem improper to some strict traditionalists, but who's paying for the wedding?
4. Some brides choose to have only their mothers walk them down the aisle. Some brides and their mothers are so close that tradition is a non-issue. They just want to honor their mothers for their love and hard work.
5. Walking down the aisle by oneself is relatively new and you have to be careful. It is not so much the break with tradition that may cause trouble as it is the bundle of nerves you may feel when walking down the aisle alone. A test run may help you, but it is not the same as the real thing! Everybody is "ahhing" you, your fiancé is looking at you as if he is seeing an angel from heaven and you are excited on top of all that. If you are not the shy type and still want to take a go at it, plan your wedding early so that you are not stressed out. And try not to think about what could go wrong!
6. Some brides may split it up between two escorts. For example, you could have your uncle walk you down partly and then have your father walk you down the rest of the way. This way everyone gets his turn to shine.
7. Walking together with you fiancé is not something out of the question. It is the ultimate demonstration of partnership, commitment and independence. If you are one of the brides who are aiming to break with tradition this could be a good route.
8. A bride who does not have her father with her anymore may still want someone who is like a father to her to escort her down the aisle. She may choose her uncle, brother, godfather or even a close friend of her father to "represent" him. In this case it is good idea to get your escort's approval way in advance and talk to friends and family about how they feel to gauge how this may look if you are afraid of offending anyone.
Above all, it is your day. I know you might be afraid of offending someone, but it is your day and most of the time your friends and family are not that "strict". Even if someone else is footing the bill, it’s you who will have the most vivid memories of your day and it's you who will have to live with it.
Victoria Williams is the editor of http://www.nuptialparadise.com. A Wedding Planning magazine with tips and ideas on planning your wedding. You can also get wedding software and self-help books at nuptialparadise.com/weddingplanningtools.php.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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CJ from birmingham al says... |
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I want my mother to walk me down the aisle...is it ok for her to have more than one role in the wedding?
other dilemmas:
I dont want my sister to be my M.O.H. i want my bestfriend to be my MOH bc I know that she will help more with the wedding planning and be more responsible and meticulous.
2)I really don't want ANY children in my wedding but my fiancee wants his 3nephews and my nephew to have a role somewhere any the wedding-any suggestions on something they can do w/out being in the weddings as ringbearers,flowers girls,etc (maybe at the reception or something?)
3)i dont want everyone i know coming to my wedding but i dont know how to do this w/out coming across as Bridezilla.i thought about invitation only but my fiancee thinks it will hurt ppl feelings.
4)How can I have both my pastor and my fiancee pastor in the wedding?
Wedding Date: n/a |
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Posted: 3/19/2009 6:36:12 PM |
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Tyann from Wrightsville, PA says... |
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I was raised by my Father. I got married when I was 20 at my Mom's house and he chose to not come. I had both of my Grandfathers' walk me. Now, at almost 26, I'm getting remarried. Things have not been the same with my Father since my first wedding. It really hurt that he wasn't there and there has never been any apology. I'm having my Grandfathers' walk me to my Mother and she will walk me to my "husband" kiss us both on the cheek and place my hand into his. I feel that my Father lost the "right" to give me away when he didn't attend the first wedding.
Wedding Date: 09/20/08 |
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Posted: 9/3/2008 4:54:19 PM |
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karleen from canada says... |
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i am also having my two sons walk me down. i've been married before and my dad is not a traditionalist. and it has been just the 3 of us for 5yrs. and does anyon suggest a song to dance with them at the wedding. i'm lost.
Wedding Date: 08/30/08 |
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Posted: 8/13/2008 6:30:02 PM |
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kim from alabama says... |
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I'm going to walk by myself. it's a small church and a short little walk. My father wants to do it I'm sure but I'm not comfortable with that. I'm 38 and this is a second marriage,(I'm widowed)and I just don't feel it's appropriate to have him escort me. He wouldnt do it the first time and now he thinks he should get a second chance. We are also paying for everything, he hasn't even offered to help.
Wedding Date: 6/27/09 |
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Posted: 8/13/2008 8:55:12 AM |
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Michele from Alabama says... |
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I am thinking about have my 2 sons walk me down the aisle. The past 10 yrs. it has been the 3 of us and I'm not really that close to my father. |
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Posted: 8/12/2008 4:01:32 PM |
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Nicole from Mississippi says... |
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My older brother was orginally going to walk me down the aisle when I finallygot married but he died three years ago so of course I chose for my father to do it instead... Now that I have actually been planning my wedding I have changed my mind. My father was in and out of my life , by choice, and I love him dearly but I feel that it is a privillege and he has not earned it at all. I asked my uncle (Mothers brother) and he was overly excited and honored. He has been the real father-figure in my life...
Wedding Date: 05/08/2010 |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 9:51:25 PM |
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tonya from chicago il says... |
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I am having a problem my brotherlaw. wont to walk me down asiel. But i wont my brother to do it. he said that he not coming to weddind if he can't walk me down the asiel. what should i do
Wedding Date: 07/18/09 |
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Posted: 7/20/2008 3:26:20 PM |
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from Texas says... |
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I haven't known my dad since I was 4yr's old and I have no one except my mom and sister who is my matron of honor. My mom raised me until I was 17 and I wish we could be better friends. My fiance's parents both remarried and i have what I feel is a connection with his mothers husband. I think I will ask him to escort me to the front row anyway then take my few steps alone to my husband to be. A bit odd...
Wedding Date: 11/08/08 |
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Posted: 7/16/2008 12:53:18 AM |
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from says... |
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Because I'm a big old drama queen I'm going to have my mother and father walk me down partially, then I'll walk by myself, then I'm going to have my fiance meet me and escort me the rest of the way.
I'm pretty sure y'all get the symbolism...
the only problem is...I don't know how or when my mother is going to get to her position in the front near the alter...as she will be performing the "Hand Fasting" "Tasting the elements" and "Broom Jumping" rituals...
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Posted: 6/24/2008 3:33:51 PM |
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cjw from chesterfield says... |
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All I want to know, for when I walk my daughter down the aisle onFriday, is WHICH SIDE does the bride walk, right arm or left?
Wedding Date: 6/6/08 |
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Posted: 6/3/2008 2:48:20 PM |
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S.Y. from Atlanta, GA says... |
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I will have my brother escort me down the aisle.
Wedding Date: May 24, 2009 |
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Posted: 3/28/2008 12:13:43 PM |
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DO from England says... |
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Sadky, neither of my parents are with me so my sister will be walking me down the aisle and then taking her place as maid of honour. She's the ony family I have and my best friend's are the groom and best man so they can't do it. Plus I really don't want to walk alone down the aisle. Scary thought! Lol
Wedding Date: 08-08-08 |
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Posted: 3/25/2008 5:41:38 PM |
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Amber from Canton, GA says... |
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I know who my father is, but he has never been a major part of my life. I'm the result of him cheating on his wife with my mom and; therefore, I'm a secret. I absolutely REFUSE to have that man at my wedding because I don't think of him as father! My older brother, who I love dearly and who is always there for me will be walking me down the aisle.
Wedding Date: TBA |
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Posted: 2/26/2008 9:48:01 PM |
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Di from Illinois says... |
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my father is gone. deceased. i want my 14 year old son to walk me down with my mother- but my mother will have NO part of it. She feels that my brother should fill my dad shoes. i love my bro dearly, but i am not close with him. but my mother is insisting. what do i do? i really want my son
Wedding Date: 11/8/08 |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 5:59:03 PM |
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Angela from Jonesboro, Georgia says... |
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My dad says that he wants to walk me down the aisle with my two brothers. He also says that he will say take her and don't bring her back when the officiant ask who gives this lady away. He is such a comedian "hahaha". To me that is to many people getting my shine. The attention should be on me so dad sorry only you can walk me down the aisle and my beloved brothers will be groomsman.
Wedding Date: 06/28/2008 |
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Posted: 12/30/2007 11:48:47 AM |
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Steph from atlanta, ga says... |
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I was going to have my (male) best-friend do it, as we have been best friends since middle school, but he felt that was odd. I am now having my brother in law do it... he adores me. =) my father will not be doing it because he doens't approve of the wedding. He thinks the marriage wont last more than a year. Family tensions are hard to deal with sometimes.
Wedding Date: feb 29, 2008 |
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Posted: 11/6/2007 8:35:00 AM |
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ellen from says... |
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My (male) best friend will be walking me down the aisle. We've been extremely close since high school and he's always been like a big brother to me, so once my father died he was the logical choice. |
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Posted: 11/3/2007 2:39:49 PM |
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Edgar Cravetts from St Paul says... |
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Your Father should walk you down the aisle. Call it what you want. This is not the 18th century. The custom hasn't symbolized a transfer of property for 200 years.
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to show respect and appreciation for your Father.
To do anything else would simply put a spotlight on YOUR selfish and insulting nature.
Wedding Date: October 21 2007 |
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Posted: 10/26/2007 3:20:11 AM |
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Kelsey from Grand Forks, ND says... |
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My father has been given 5 years to live if he behaves himself which so far he hasn't! I'm afraid that he won't be there to walk me down the aisle. I know that he would want to be the one who does, but I don't know if he will live to that day. Should I rush into it and get married earlier than planned so that he will be there?
Wedding Date: unknown |
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Posted: 4/24/2007 11:47:44 PM |
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alanasinbloom.com from Clinton, N.J. says... |
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I had my (step)Father and Mother walk with me to honor the fact that they were both my parents. There are many non-traditional families today so do what makes you feel right and you won't regret it later :)
Wedding Date: may 25, 1996 |
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Posted: 1/2/2007 11:33:09 PM |
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Lisa from Temecula, California says... |
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My first marriage I had my mother walk me down the aisle...my parents divorced when I was 13 and Mom was the one always round. This time I have asked 2 of my nephews to wals me down the aisle. They have really been a big part of mine and my fiance's life...and I felt it was the right choice. My mom agrees whole heartedly.
Wedding Date: 12/08/07 |
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Posted: 12/27/2006 3:33:15 PM |
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Mary from Iowa says... |
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When I married the first time, I asked my gdpa to walk me down ~ dad is not much a part of my life. We ended up marrying in a small log cabin and there wasn't room for 2 to walk down. I started planning my 2nd marriage for June 2004 ~ asked gdpa again and said he'd be honored. I went back to school and financially we couldn't do it for the date planned. Sadly, gdpa got sick and died in Oct 2004. So here I am planning it for June 2007 ~ my oldest son ~ 7 ~ will walk me down. Our son and his son will be ring bearers and my daughter will be flower girl. Man, how complicated this can get lol
Wedding Date: 6/30/07 |
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Posted: 11/28/2006 9:11:29 PM |
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Shelia E from Chicago, IL says... |
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Although I am sure that your step daughter does not have this option, my 21 year old son will walk me down the aisle. My father is still around, and although when I got married previously we chose the city hall route and he did not have the opportunity, he did with my sister. I hope there is no hard feelings by my father, but I would rather have my son do it.
Wedding Date: 6/23/2007 |
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Posted: 10/18/2006 6:25:05 PM |
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Lori from Indianapolis says... |
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I am a single mother. My oldest son is walking me down the aisle. |
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Posted: 10/11/2006 12:38:31 PM |
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Marie Dyer from Petaluma, CA says... |
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My step-daughter is getting married on Ocotber 14, 2006. I have been aked by her to do the programs for the ceremony. I thought I had it all figured out but something tells me I don't. She is not going to have her Father walk her down cause she thought it was not fare to your step-father that her father was the only one that walked her sister down. She felt that her step-father should have been apart of that. Well it did not happened. So now she wants only her step-father to walk her down. Which has termendously upset her Father.
I am trying to do the right thing.
She is getting married at a theater. The way I thouht everyone should go down the isle is:
Grandmother of Bride
Aunt and Uncle of the bride (like grandparents)
Father and Step-Mother of the Bride
Mother of the bride
The rest I know. Is it also true that when sitting the brides mother side of the family that they are seated right behind the mother and step-father? I was not going to have it that way. I was going to have her father and I sit behind her mother and step-father.
I really need your help or someones help so I can finish the programs. I am also going to conduct
the rehersal.
Marie Dyer
Wedding Date: 10-14-06 |
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Posted: 10/3/2006 7:41:27 PM |
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Carnisha from Aurora, IL says... |
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My father has just come back into my life. Even though I have forgiven him for everything in our past and have somewhat of a relationship with him, I still do not want to hurt his feelings by having my two uncles walk down the aisle with me. Wow! This is so hard.
Wedding Date: May 17, 2008 |
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Posted: 10/2/2006 4:33:19 PM |
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jamee from tennessee says... |
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I am having my dad and my uncle walk me down the isle. They are both like fathers to me so it seemed like the right thing to do.
Wedding Date: 10/20/2007 |
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Posted: 9/5/2006 7:03:07 PM |
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kim from fort lauderdale says... |
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I have chosen my mother to walk me down the aisle, but we are unsure of her attire. Should her dress be similar color and style as the bridesmaids?
My persoanl preference is to have a complimentary color but definitely different than the bridesmaids. The wedding is outdoors, evening, formal/semiformal.
Wedding Date: 04-01-06 |
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Posted: 10/22/2005 1:41:13 PM |
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Shaundra from Atlanta, Ga says... |
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For my wedding my father and step father are walking me down the isle extrending from the left. Another different twist not above mentioned is that my fiance will be walking down the isle as well coming from the right escorted by his mother and godmother. This for us signifies not only my family's approval of this union but also his.
Wedding Date: 11/1/05 |
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Posted: 10/6/2005 11:22:24 AM |
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Loranda from Atlanta, Georgia says... |
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Have both fathers escort you in and on each side walking you all the way down the isle. They will at your side until you are given to your husband to be. |
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Posted: 9/5/2005 12:06:54 PM |
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Nicole from Lithia Springs, GA says... |
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I liked the suggestions, but have a question. I have both my father and step-father walking me down the aisle. Both men are so important to me that I can't imagine not having one there. How do I work this out, so that the prsentation is as beautiful as the meaning behind it? I don't want to be tripping over people. And I don't want us to look like "The Monkees" walking down the aisle. HELP!
Wedding Date: Oct 2005 |
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Posted: 9/5/2005 8:16:26 AM |
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C from Atlanta says... |
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You left one out -- I'm a widow, with 2 grown sons. Whereas my father walked me down the isle the first time, they, their sister, and I, feel the honor should be theirs...as they are now the male heads of our family.
Wedding Date: not yet decided |
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Posted: 3/30/2005 3:22:40 PM |
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Anthea from Dolton, IL says... |
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The truth of the matter is that traditionalism has gone out with the bath water. Many of "us" single moms are opting to have our children walk us down the aisle. Afterall, many times dad is missing - loved, but gone. So we improvise and include, especially that male child in the ceremony that begins a new chapter in several lives. Gods blessings on single parents who have held out and waited on that special someone trusting that they are from the Lord after making that first opps. I speak divine love over your marriages in Jesus Name - YEAH!
Wedding Date: 5/28/2006 |
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Posted: 3/14/2005 3:01:42 PM |
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