Planning the Ceremony

By Lei Lydle Founder and Editor Last Updated: 3/28/2007 9:49:13 AM

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Chelsea from Michigan says...

Something occurred to me while reading Lei's reply to Ginger. Lei mentioned that you should wait until leaving the reception to have guests blow bubbles/throw birdseed/rice/etc. I have never been to a wedding where the couple leaves the reception before the guests. Every wedding I have been to has gone until quite late and the guests all leave before the Bride and Groom. It seems like such a shame to leave your own party while your guests get to keep up the fun without you. I was planning on having my wedding the way that I am accustomed. This would mean that my fiance and I would walk back down the aisle first, followed by our attendants. We would set up our receiving line just outside of the chapel, and our guests would exit the chapel next. As they finished up going through the line, my guests would go outside and wait for us. Then my wedding party would exit. We would exit next and they would all throw birdseed/blow bubbles/etc. The guests would then leave for the reception site while the wedding party did pictures. We would then go to the reception and have dinner with our guests and party the night away. The only thing I have noticed that does not fit is that most people cut the cake just before the Bride and Groom depart. Most weddings I have been to, the cake is cut just as dinner is winding up. After the cake is cut, the bride and groom have their first dance and a bit later they do the boquet/garter toss. Then everyone proceeds to visit with one another, and dance and have fun either until the party just dies down, or until the time listed on the contract for rental of the hall. Usually, at least in my family, the bride and groom even help clean up afterward. I was wondering if there is something wrong with this way of doing things. Does it go against etiquitte or just tradition? Is it poor manners to stay until the guests have all left? I'd appreciate hearing the input of others. Comments Posted: 3/20/2007 9:42:38 PM

Monica Christine Yu from Friends Showing NBC BSB says...

Wedding Vows Wedding vows are more than just a declaration of love and devotion; they are promise between the couple to honor at all times their commitment to one another. Whether a religious wedding ceremony or a non-religious wedding ceremony that pledge is expressed through the wedding vows. You’ll find the words to traditional wedding vows in movies, books and songs. They articulate perfectly the value and respect for the sanctity of marriage. Traditional wedding vows provide a time honored and revered way to exchange vows. These are likely the same wedding vows used by your parents, grandparents and other ancestors throughout the generations. There’s a special sense of continuity and connectedness in knowing you’re using those same words and that some day, so too may your children. While wedding vows vary slightly between different churches, especially among various Protestant denominations, here is a general outline of traditional wedding vows. After the processional, the minister or priest starts with the following words: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together before God to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.” The minister then says a few words on the sanctity of marriage, which he may customize to specifically address the couple. The vows can be exchanged one of two ways. The minister can pose the vows as a question, to which the bride and groom answer “I do”: “Do you (name) take (partner’s name) for your lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?” Should the couple choose this option they may wish to express their commitment during the exchange of the wedding rings. Or the couple can state the vows for themselves: “I (name) take you (partner’s name) for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” There are many variations of these words. However the underlying theme of commitment to one another throughout good times and bad times remains the constant. If you plan to change the traditional wedding vows considerably, it may be easier to simply write your own wedding vows. The essence of the wedding vows remains the same, just expressed in your own words. Wedding Date: October Wednesday 26, 2005 Comments Posted: 10/19/2005 2:35:10 PM

Lei Lydle, Editor from says...

Ginger, Are you having a reception? If you are, you will probably want to hold the bubbles off until you are leaving the reception. If you are not having a reception OR if you just really want the bubbles after the ceremony, do as the director says - bride and groom are always the first ones out in the recessional. If you are having a receiving line you will need to line up for that first. Pass out the bubbles as guests are leaving and instruct them to stand outside of the ceremony location. After the receiving line, the attendants should join the guests outside with the bubbles and THEN you and your new hubby leave the ceremony location as your guests blow bubbles and cheer. A couple of things to note - bubbles can be messy and slippery so ask if there are any restrictions with the ceremony site. Also, if you are having a reception, you may not want to have the bubbles after the ceremony because the bubbles could potentially make water spots on your gown and / or mess up your hair or makeup IF you get a lot on you. Probably not too much to be concerned about but just thought I would point that out. Good luck! ~ Lei Comments Posted: 9/23/2005 11:29:04 AM

Lei Lydle, Editor from says...

Hi Ginger! You are right. The time on the invitation is the time that the actual ceremony starts. I have never even heard of such a thing as putting the wrong time on the invitation. Guests will be annoyed if the invitation says 4:00PM but the wedding doesn't start until 4:30PM because they will arrive at 3:45PM and have to sit there for 45 minutes! You did the right thing girl - don't sweat it! ~ Lei Comments Posted: 9/23/2005 10:48:03 AM

Ginger from Chicago says...

Hello, I have another dilemma. For the recession I would like my attendants to meet me as I walk out to blow bubbles and cheer. How can they do that if the recessional procedure has them leaving after me? We want to be the last out (after my Man of Honor). Then they meet us out front with bubbles. I just got a phone call from my director (after I emailed her my recessional procedure) informing me that my order was incorrect. Should I just toss out the wedding books and just do want I want? Wedding Date: October 15 Comments Posted: 9/23/2005 10:47:18 AM

Ginger from Chicago, IL says...

Help! Everyone keeps telling me I made an awful mistrake when I planned my wedding times. I read that the time you include on your invitation is the time the ceremony begins. Everyone is telling me I am wrong! They say the time on my invitation tells my guests they should arrive at that time. Every wedding I have been to suggests the ceremony begins at the time mentioned in the invitation. For example, I went to a wedding over the summer. The wedding invitation said, "2pm" I arrived at 1:45pm to be there on time. This is how I have always thought it to be. As I thought, the ceremony started at 2pm. Why is everyone telling me what a horrible mistake I made?! My wedding is for 4pm in the afternoon. Everyone is telling me not to process until 4:30pm to allow guests to arrive! I keep thinking I am right and everyone else is mistaken. Help me Wedding Date: October 15 Comments Posted: 9/23/2005 10:26:20 AM

Olga from New York says...

Great website, first of all! I found a lot of articles helpful and informative. However, would be nice to learn more about foreign countries locations for wedding ceremonies. My fiance and I dream of having our wedding held in Prague, Chezch Republic in Europe. I would love to get any advice on Prague's locations for weddings and local vendors. And tips in general on planning a long distance wedding. Olga Wedding Date: April 2005 Comments Posted: 7/28/2005 10:31:48 PM

Lei Lydle, Editor from says...

Dear Jeanna from NC, I have written several articles about the ceremony including articles on seating and the procession. Please check the following page. All of the articles are listed on the left side of the page just underneath the Featured Advertiser: Ceremony Planning Guide Good luck! ~Lei Comments Posted: 7/24/2005 8:58:43 AM

Jeanna from NC says...

What should happen during the ceremony and in what order? Wedding Date: August 27, 2005 Comments Posted: 7/23/2005 9:20:00 PM